NETWORK BUILDER. It’s lots easier to make friends these days, especially when social networking sites are just a username and password away. And it’s so easy to get in touch with family, friends, and even folks you don’t know and yet are accessible through, email, texting or PM.
Everyday I get emails from guys I don’t know and sometimes wonder how their emails managed to slip through the filter and spam detectors. That’s not to mention the strange and crazy guys who text me with weird messages, especially telling me how I was supposed to be charged extra by Globe and how I could cancel it.
Weird, isn’t it? It’s easier to get connected and get in touch with people today and yet it’s harder to find people to trust.
One email counselee once told me:
“Even among people around us or even family and friends, it’s sometimes becoming harder to find people to trust. The times seem to make people behave and think strangely. Sometimes you no longer see the simple, friendly guy you used to see in a person. Most of them have changed and turned sophisticated and seemed to have grown cynical to each other, discarding simple and innocent friendships in favor of self-interests.
“I just wonder, is this because life today has become more distressful or has mankind become irreparably complicated?” he asked.
I think it’s both–it’s all due to distress and human relations complications. Just open your eyes and see–it’s become a sin to be simple and average. Most people think there’s something wrong with you if you just want a simple life, simple and quiet marriage, a simple job, simple accomplishments and simple everything–or else they think you’re an idiot.
It has even come to a point when some people cannot stay loyal to one spouse. You see them linked sexually to people not their spouses and sometimes with the same gender as they have. All for selfish ends.
Gain has become the rule of the day.
Today, ulterior motives seem to fuel every action and motive. Most people won’t do anything if they don’t gain anything from it. This is bad for a lot of things. For instance, if you put up a company, organization or church and are looking for people who’d believe with you in your mission and vision. Most people will apply for a job in your company just for the money even if they don’t agree with your intentions.
And even in relationships. A lot of people will befriend or become close to you not for the friendship but for what they could gain from it.
So, how do you find people you can trust today?
1. Keep simple. Simplicity can be a powerful stripper of true character and intents. If you’re plain-looking and look like you have no money, you’d see people’s real attitude toward you. I know a rich guy who dressed up like a poor folk and watched how sales ladies would treat him in a posh mall.They treated him badly. Then he took out lots of money from his dirty-looking bag (and I mean lots of money) and placed them on the counter. The ladies were shocked and started treating him good. But he left and bought a costly item in the next store.
2. See how they behave while eating. Often, you’d see true character when people are having their meals in an average restaurant. Note how they appreciate the food and treat the waiters. Folks with ill characters complain a lot about food and service (even if they are not that bad) and pester waiters about it like it’s mortal sin. Folks with good character and maturity simply eat and exercise more patience. If they need to complain, they do so with extreme kindness, not stooping down to the level of poor management.
Humble people are trustworthy people.
3. Listen to what they love talking about. During casual talks, listen to what people love talking about. If they love talking about themselves, especially if they’re so find about how good they are and their accomplishments, they are folks loyal only to themselves. If they’re genuinely interested about you or people they’re talking to, then there’s big chance they are people who think about others and concerned about the general welfare more than their own good.
Like in church, for instance. People love to talk about how they sang their special numbers or how the choir sang or how the message touched them. They love to talk about how good the pastor is or how extensive the church ministry has become. They love talking about their doctrines and theologies and worship styles.
But very, very few love talking about Jesus.