How Do You Get Over an Offense?


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When someone offends you, you often feel belittled. And that’s not a comfortable feeling. First you wonder what the problem is with the offender and then wonder what you did wrong. Then, as some kind of delayed reaction, you think of ways to defend yourself and perhaps retaliate.

Sometimes, no matter how patient you are, it happens. You defend yourself and retaliate, often worsening everything. But doing the contrary does not seem favorable to you either. Sometimes, patience works, but often it puts you in a position easy to abuse–especially if you are up against a bully.

And a bully usually gets so easily hurt. It’s okay when they’re the ones offending others, but believe it or not, they get easily offended even if you just merely try to defend yourself from them. They want you willingly vulnerable to their open-fire. Unfair? Offenders are never fair, that’s for sure.

Later, the offense clings to your soul. You always recall it and makes you blame yourself for not being outspoken or offensive enough when you were defending yourself. Then the memory of the incident later births hatred and animosity. If you let that happen, it will destroy you eventually.

What should you do?

If you don’t want to end up just like your offender, obviously you should do something positive about it. Here are some points to remember:

  1. Offenders are hurt people. Offensiveness is their way of covering up for their insecurities. They are never content with their lives and themselves so they unconsciously blame and hurt others because of it. Well, sometimes they intentionally hurt people so they can share the misery they suffer from with them. And they need to prove their worth to everyone, so they tend to put others down.
  2. In their inner spirits, they actually crave attention and appreciation. Some of them love to be worshiped, so their offense is a scare tactic to make you worship them.
  3. This is the most important–their offense should not affect you too much to end up being just like them. If you’re not an offender (that means you are a sensible person) your broad-mindedness should protect you from getting contaminated by the offensive spirit.

“Do not resist an evil person.” [Matthew 5.39]

Armed with the above, you can now easily decide what to do to easily get over an offense.

Image above from: MarkMerrill.Com

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