BRAVENESS BUILDER. Who among you love confrontation? It’s unusual but some people just love confronting people. Most Pinoys don’t. They’d rather feel their way to each others’ emotions or moods than confront each other about them. “Paki-ramdaman,” is how we put it. We’re not comfortable discussing truth upfront. We’d rather ignore and hope it’d go away. Others are not just uncomfy about it–they fear having to face people with discussion or argument and explain themselves or demand explanations.
Sometimes, just uttering 3 to 5 words make them very nervous to go on or feel almost faint. The wild heart rate is just too much for them and they just freeze and give way. But no doubt, they want to do more than just stop and freeze in inaction. They want to face up to the situation and defend their rights or causes–but they couldn’t because of fear. What should they do? Fear often comes mainly because of these:
- You don’t want to get involved
- You don’t want to figure in a scandal
- You don’t want to hurt or get hurt
- You don’t want to be apprehended later if things get worse or to go to court because you fear the cost
These are the roots of the fear of confrontation. But what if you can avoid most of these and still confront offensive people? Will that take your fear of confrontation away? What if you can confront them without getting involved in a scandal, without getting hurt, or without getting apprehended or going to court to face charges? Will it make you bolder to confront people?
If you’re in the right, you have no reason to fear confrontation.
To avoid the roots that really cause fear in the first place, you need only one thing–be in the right. If you’re in the right, you have no reason to fear confrontation. Your foe is rendered powerless when you are in the right. Even if the matter involves a scandal, hurting the feelings of someone dear to you, or being taken to the police or the courts, being in the right makes you powerful and even invincible. So you need to know the principles behind being in the right so you can get rid of fear.
- In everything, have a measure of tolerance. This means you always have to give way or be patient. Never assert your rights except when it’s a matter of life or death. The limit is to see to it that you’re not abused.
- Always be polite. Even amid extreme verbal attacks and rudeness, just be polite.
- Keep cool and smile even when you face up to a problem caused by others and blamed on you. Even if war is about to explode in your midst, keep cool and smiling. Be defensive. But always be ready to defend yourself, though in a calm way.
- Never initiate the attack or offense.
- Never act in anger or vengeance.
These are the basics. Of course, you need to know how to speak, react, stare, and stand. These things are important for confronting people defensively without fear. You can be non-belligerent in your stance and looks, and yet people discern toughness and fierceness behind your calm disposition that make them respect you. I call it quiet confidence. You’re friendly and calm and yet people sense the danger in you. So they think twice before provoking you further.
Your foe is rendered powerless when you are in the right.
If you want to know more about this, get more from the e-book: “How to be Brave: Unlock the Gentle Warrior Spirit in You.” Just look for the title on “LINKS” found on the sidebar. Click on it to purchase the e-book through Paypal and you will be taken to a page where there is a link for downloading your PDF copy of the e-book.