MARRIAGE BUILDER. It’s been a serious problem of most people I meet–the men especially–struggling daily on how to stay in love with their spouses. I and my wife never have this problem and most folks who know us call us inseparable sweet romantics because we go together even if we just have to buy something at a street corner store–that’s for the past 19 years. The secret, I guess, is a solid foundation right at the start of our relationship (we didn’t get married to know if we were made for each other) and godly respect during our pre-marital friendship. Right prior to marriage, we made sure that God created us to live together for a purpose.
Do you love him or her so much even without pre-conditions like pre-marital sex, financial capacity, personality traits, sleeping defects (like snoring), or even if she cooks terribly? (I thank God my wife cooks superbly, but also through some cooking tips from me). If you start with the right solid foundation, you will stay in love with your spouse till the end of the ages. If not, then the love (or lust) you have for your spouse will wane with time. My smart friend, Cadio, thinks he falls in love with so many pretty girls at the same time and I told him true love is not a collection–it’s a singular exclusivity.
Now, if you have this solid foundation, your spouse will never grow old in your eyes. Yeah, you see him or her maturing and gaining with age, but still “young” nonetheless. When you have sex, you see her as fresh and young–like the way she looked years ago. You retain a godly lust for your spouse so you stay happy and contented. Nothing and no one can come between you, not even money problems or the sexiest whore in town–or in the world.
But what if you didn’t have that solid foundation and now you’re feeling the strain in your marriage–though you want to stay in love with your spouse? What do you do? Well, you need to sacrifice and look after the benefit of your spouse than of yourself. Get rid of selfishness and think especially of your kids, if you already have kids. Divorce, even if it’s legit in your country, is never the solution. The bible says God hates divorce, and no one can change that, not even the highest courts or the best judge or lawyer.
“For I hate divorce!” says the LORD, the God of Israel.”To divorce your wife is to overwhelm her with cruelty,” says the LORD of Heaven’s Armies. “So guard your heart; do not be unfaithful to your wife.” [Malachi 2.16]
And I say, “What shall it profit a man if he succeeds in getting a divorce but loses his soul in hell?”
To help yourself stay in love with your spouse, consider my marriage tips (and which I and my wife do):
- Get close to God. You and your spouse should both be devoted to him and his Word. Pray for each other.
- Keep appreciating your partner. Keep on with your sweet-nothings daily as you age.
- Do what fervently in-love teenagers do. It’s exciting!
- Stay fit. Eat right, exercise, and supplement. Stay energized!
- Go on dates!
- Stay kind, patient, understanding, and gentle.
- If you have differences, talk and discuss–quarrel if you must–but make up right after. Don’t let the sun go down with your anger for each other still there.
- Celebrate special days with just the two of you, like your anniversary and birthdays. Don’t invite friends.
- Kiss your spouse everyday and give him or her a good smile each morning, sweetly saying, “I love you!” I repeat, each morning, for the rest of your lives!
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